Don’t Pity Me

Let’s keep this simple and say things as they are.

My daily prayer has always captured my desire to contribute and add value wherever I find myself and to give resources and offer solutions to everyone I meet.

In every company I’ve kept thus far, I have strategically and intentionally positioned myself to operate from the giving side and not the receiving side (there’s nothing wrong with being on the receiving side of life where your benefit is your priority).

Days of Little beginnings

My resolution to reject pity consciously started in 2001. I was just 10 years old and in primary 6 (Grade 6) when my father passed on.

About the time of my father’s demise, the primary school I attended had just increased the school fees. While many many parents were complaining about the huge school fees increment and contemplating other alternatives, the management of the school gave me full scholarship for the rest terms I had till I completed my primary education.

During that period, I remember that some people who were aware of my new scholarship status were of the opinion that the school gave me a scholarship out of pity because of my father’s demise. I was always quick to address their opinions at such a naive and tender age by telling them that; I was the school’s debate club leading orator, the school’s music band captain and also the goal-keeper of the school’s football team and in my narrative and defense, those values I added to the school were the reasons why the school awarded me a scholarship after my father’s demise, and not out of sheer pity.

This was my attempt at age 10 to reject being a subject of pity but rather a dealer in value, and this laid the molding blocks for me to opt for a life of value over pity.

Building on Solid Grounds

For the next few years I spent in secondary school (high school) and the university, I went on without breathing a word of my father’s demise to anyone simply because I did not want to attract pity from anybody, rather, I wanted my relationships to be based on the value I brought to the table.

It was much later after my university education that my university friends through the university’s publication where I was interviewed and gave insights to my background, found out that I was raised by a single mother because of my father’s demise. I still remember how my phone buzzed most part of that weekend with calls and messages from my university friends. Some called to mention that they were inspired by the fact that I was not limited by my situation, while others called to express their anger for me to keep such a vital information about myself from them. In all, non of the callers expressed pity towards me or treated me differently, and that was my goal.

Reality Check

In October 2022, my beloved mother who was a valuable part of my life went to be with the LORD, and although it was a huge blow, I still did not want to be pitied. I was able to embrace a mantra that captures my mother’s name; HOPE, and this gave me strength in my weakness. The mantra; NO HOPE IS LOST, was powerful enough to set me on my feet again and to reject the pity people presented me with.

So, trust me when I say; I don’t want to be pitied because No Hope is Lost.